Life’s real magic begins when we can distinguish between when we are experiencing feelings from the conscious or unconscious side of ourselves. It is then that we see we have the choice to either watch our emotional life happen or create it. The more aware we are that we actually have this choice, the more we choose to make it happen—by dealing with our feelings consciously.
The preliminary to everything is going within and feeling our feelings in order to take an emotional pulse on whatever is going on right now. This initially takes courage since, as observed earlier, most people live in fear of their feelings because they don’t know where the feeling of their feelings will take them.
If we ignore our feelings and continue with the moment at hand, sure, we can maintain our outward “unaffected” posture, the maintaining of which gives us the illusion of being safe, but this says nothing for authenticity. And we can only bury or ignore our inner truth for so long.
We can create more awareness around feeling our feelings by giving ourselves what I call, Soulitude. Soulitude is about being in a safe enough space (emotionally or physically) that you can feel all that’s inside and around you with such peace that you have a deeper understanding of yourself. Spending down time with your Self, alone in some way where you are consciously making an effort to identify your feelings not just by thinking about them, but through the feeling of them.
A natural time for this can often be found in the early morning or late evening hours, when the noises and busy energies of life dim to a level low enough to allow your inner voice to be heard. After connecting with yourself in this way frequently, you’ll begin to crave this time and look forward to it. This is a sign that you’re getting benefit from it.
We all find or experience Soulitude in different ways. It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing, because Soulitude isn’t about doing, it’s about being. It’s about letting go of your Mind and feeling into the moment with the fewest thoughts possible. For some people, this is meditation, for others it may be sitting out in the sunshine with a cup of tea in the morning, breathing slowly and listening to the birds. Or it could be taking a silent walk and appreciating the soothing pace of nature.
Identifying your feelings could involve simply writing from your heart without stopping to think or edit, pouring your emotions onto the page. Or maybe you’re staring at the ceiling while lying in bed—thinking of nothing, but suddenly feeling (at last!) and understanding everything.
Wherever or however it is that you find the emotional safety and peace that allows you to identify your feelings without thoughts interrupting—that is your place of Soulitude.